Distance...
I was chatting with one of my degree friends on Gmail after a very long time...the thing to note here is we hardly chatted with each other when we were together in same class in degree (for almost 3 years can you imagine)...that day we chatted for almost an hour...exchanging latest happenings in our lives...talking as if we were best of friends, meeting after long time... I remember telling him that time...”distance does seem to change things...don’t you think"...Perhaps he was thinking on similar lines...on that very day...we confessed that we always held each other in high regard, yet never conveyed it...we considered each other very fine individuals...but never said it....
This incidence had happened a couple of months back...but I m still intrigued and astonished and still wondering, thinking about this insidious question. Why is that?? Why people never convey their feelings when time is there. Why is that people wait till it’s almost too late to tell others what they feel for them...Is it so silly to tell someone that we cherish them? Is it really too much to say??
I don’t know if any of you readers will answer "YES" to this question...but if any of you do say "yes" then forgive me for differing...
I won’t say I have seen a lot...but I would say I have seen a little more than average person of my age...I have seen relationships blossoming. I have seen relationships dying...I have seen new relations rising out of ashes of the old ones...I have seen one relation spinning out of another....and therefore...my answer to this question is "Nay"..
It is not silly to tell people you love/cherish/respect them...It is not too much to say when you tell them that you adore them or even love them.....sometimes I have seen.. the biggest barrier in any relation...is failure of expressing each other...May it be Friendship, Love, or any form of relation...I have always emphasized on free expression...n I think rather I believe that it IS the key to free ourselves from the deadlock of eternal loneliness...
Don’t get me wrong...I cherish solitude...Oh boy I love solitude...but only when I want it...check that. I said I WANT it...not that I NEED it...sometimes...we are best as lone....when we need to silently assess something...quietly to decide on something...
I recollect another conversation with another friend of mine...who was saying "I hate when someone says that "I like you", "I love you"" (if it is done in excess). My defense to that is, of course it can overbearing if someone is telling you this...But if that person truly MEANS it when he/she says it...then I welcome such thousands of blessings..(yes I will consider them as blessings)...because...one "I love you" or” I care for you" or "I respect you" can lift up your spirit and morale greatly... (I have seen it happening so be rest assured of its success)
Err… I can see that I am drifting from the point in discussion…distance!! So I will get back to it :)
Somehow, we feel secured to tell that we adore/respect/cherish them when they are afar. This makes me wonder is it because now we don’t have to face the consequences of our feelings towards that person? Is THIS the reason…consequence…? That acts as the biggest deterrent to express ourselves to others… my guess is…. ”May be yes”. We feel extremely relaxed conveying this when that person is not around…. I don’t recollect why I dint tell my friend that I cherish his friendship…. It may be partly because I thought he might not appreciate it…. So now there are two…. Consequence and Reciprocation of the feelings…. Phew…the list seems keep on growing isn’t it? I am sure…circumstances… and many other factors might kick in to affect our decision to tell someone that we care/love/cherish…. My only point is... “Take your chance” …. Tell the person what you feel… the worst come worst would be that the person doesn’t feel for you same way you feel…. But hey it will make you feel better…. I will tell you why… All of us (I am saying all of us…. forgive me if I am wrong) have tendency to look back in time and think how we could have changed what happened (especially in heart and relationship matters)…. Do you really want to have that guilt that the relation partly did not live because you failed to tell that person that you loved him/her? At least I won’t be able to bear this guilt. And if you are like me and wont be able to bear this guilt… then go ahead…express yourself…. Tell that person how you feel…. Trust me… even if that person turns you down, you would at least be glad that the end or lack of reciprocation was not because of your part and I believe that is something to cling to in your dark hour when you are contemplating on why did the relation end…. And try to look at bright side…. That person might be waiting for you to make the first move ;-) …. So don’t hesitate…. Express yourself…. That’s the whole point of this discussion… because today it might be late….but tomorrow might be too late…
Yours truly,
A phoenix
(PS: I don’t pretend to be expert on relations, and I am sure this is not exactly a fine piece of work…. but again I have done what I have asked you all to do…Express yourself… I have done it on my part…. I am waiting for you all to do it too :))
9 comments:
I liked the font and the style pf the blog. Keep it up
A good piece of writting indeed.
hmm...luks like u hv explored a very relevant & important question and done a fair job on it!
the incident u hv mentioned in the beginning hs happened wid me too...n m sure others wud agree.
Distance, yes... it does give you freedom to express long bred feelings for a person...
The incident you described... i hav seen such-- and perhaps many others have.. But not many have expressed it and hence this article shares and spreads many things that we cannot learn by individual reflection...
Good going, Mr. Phoenix!
Yes..consequences do matter a lot,see, my point of view is that , if there is really any scope of a friendship between two people that will happen someday, you need not to be very extrovert, on the other hand I think keeping good relation with all makes it possible to know many people in person and then you can think who can be your friend.The main thing is that Let time flow,let things happen..you need not to hurry..and if there are any chance you will certainly be the lucky person.
anyways..this thing happened with me too, in recent past..but my realization is a bit different.. :)
After all
LIFE IS AS YOU PERCEIVE!
keep living..
keep enjoying
and
keep writing..
Jayita..
I totally agree ..... you must not delay in letting people know that you love them ...you never know ... you might never get another chance ....
What ever you ahve written is 100 percent true
I have chatted with my so called ENEMIES of the past. I never used to like them . But now when I meet them in my GTALK we talk to each other as if we were best of frnds as you told!
So i dont know! It may not be just hiding the feelings. It may be just a change of perception as time goes by.
the word is "ego".....or whatever you call it.....the feeling of "why should I approach him ... why can't he approach me " .... and the same way the other guy feels .... even if you know that the other guy is also thinking along same line , still you won't approach him .... and as far as I understand that's how it goes .... and when an online encounter takes place .... it goes away ... many such incidents happened with me .... but even online , I was not the starter ;)
The word's ego yes, but this New Year I decided I will be less egoistic. So at the end of New Year’s Day, I started typing lengthy messages to my special friends telling them how special are they to me. Due to network problems some did not reach, some just felt good and some just yapped x-( But at the end of the day, I expressed. Its okay if some don't reciprocate the same feelings or even have any special feelings, it’s easier to move on once said and done to a higher level of understanding.
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